Is it Love or infatuation? Lately I seem to be the go to person on relationship advice. Must be because my marriage is so perfect! LOL When I was a teen, my mom cut out an article "Is it Love or Infatuation?" I think that I still have it, in a scrapbook. Maybe I'll find it and scan it later. Anyway, these are my thoughts on love for those of you that keep asking my advice. Feel free to keep asking, but this will give you an idea of what my answer will be.

First of all, I do not believe in true love. Prince Charming is NOT going to show up on his great white steed to ride you off into the sunset and live happily ever after. Well, it might happen, but the "happily ever after part" is up to you. The unfortunate part is that most humans are searching for this idea of true love/romantic love/happily ever after with your soul mate. This is why we can be unfulfilled in our relationships.

Now what I do believe in is lust/infatuation. This can also be called falling in love when your feeling are returned. It is that unexplained chemical reaction to another person. I believe this can happen between any two humans....regardless of sex, age, color, religion, etc. It just happens. Being a chemical reaction, chemicals, such as alcohol, can also make it happen. The explanation of many one night stands. Obviously, this chemical reaction is in us for a reason...the need for the human race to survive. It is instinct!

So how do these fit together? When you are attracted to someone, you want to be with them. You feel good when you are with them. If the feelings are reciprocated, you make them feel good. They want to be with you. So you get trapped in a cycle. You think of this feeling as "falling in love." When what it really is, is lust being reciprocated from the object of your affections. So the next step is to commit to this person...whether it if formally or just understood. You are now a couple. Days go by, months, maybe years....the chemical attraction may or may not be there....but there is something else also....REAL LIFE.

Prince Charming has now become the frog on the couch...burping, farting, scratching himself. You realize he is a normal person, just like you. Now, this is the hard part. Because Sir Lance-a-lot at work has been giving you the eye. And you have those feelings stirring around inside of you. It makes you wonder if something is better elsewhere. You look at Prince Charming and wonder where the love went. You love him. You have beautiful children (or dogs) with him. But are you in love with him??? You are sure that you love Sir Lance-a-lot...and that he will make you happily ever after.

Let's say that you break up. For some reason you live with his parents, who are in denial about you breaking up. Maybe you are in denial that it is over. When he is away, you don't miss him. When you talk to him, he hurts you. But you think you want him back. Do you really want him back? Or is it just the chemical attraction from the beginning that you are feeling?

My point in all this is that you can't help who with you "fall in love". You can, however, make a decision on what to do. You will just have to be ready for the consequences of that decision..good or bad. Don't ever beat yourself up for a decision! Every decision is the right one! Have trust in that!! Let your life play out how you want it. You are the only one that will make you "happily ever after."